Breathe: A Love’s Complicated Novel Read online

  I laugh, because I can imagine. I’ve encountered some of the worst lines ever in my day. “Oh, tell me.”

  “You see the woman over there wearing the blue dress,” he points toward the window. She’s gorgeous. Tall, blond, svelte with an air of sophistication.

  “Yeah, I see her. Which guy?” I ask because I need to visualize them together.

  “Let me find him.” He scans the room for a couple seconds before pointing him out. “Grey shirt, black slacks. He’s standing near the front door with a beer in his hand.”

  I turn slightly in my chair and find the guy he’s talking about. Not bad looking. Average height, definitely works out. I could see them together.

  “So, he says to her, ‘You’re the most beautiful contestant in the name of love.’” I can’t help but laugh at the way Matt mimics the poor guy.

  “Well, don’t leave me hanging, what was her response?”

  “She didn’t say anything. It was obvious she was shocked by the expression on her face. A few seconds later she walked away.”

  “She walked away? Jeez, a single woman attending an event like this should expect to experience a couple of those lines.”

  Matt starts laughing and I love watching him. There is something about the joy that radiates from him at times like this.

  “I guess it’s better than ‘If I say you have a beautiful body, would you hold it against me.’” We both crack up at that. It’s an oldie but a goodie as far as pickup lines go.

  We continue spouting some of the worst lines we’ve ever heard for a while before someone gets on the loud speaker and says it’s time for games. Matt looks at me trying to gauge my willingness to play dating games tonight.

  I shake my head before speaking. “No way. I’m not into games.”

  “Works for me,” he says. “I’ll pay the bill.” It wasn’t a question but a statement, so I didn’t question whether I should pitch in.

  He gets up and walks to the bar to pay our tab.

  When he returns, I have my coat on and he grabs his. We make our way to the front door where he slips his coat on before we step outside. It’s snowing and the temperature dropped significantly, so Matt hails a cab to drop us at the movie theater a couple blocks away. Before we can even decide on what to watch, the cab is stopping in front of the theater. Matt pays the driver, then opens the door as a gust of wind blows frigid air into the car.

  “Brrr,” I say as I climb out of the car and run toward the door. We stomp off the snow flurries when we walk inside the lobby.

  “If I choose, then it’s my treat,” I say as we take the escalator to the second floor where the ticket machines are located.

  He starts to protest, but I place my hand on his chest before continuing, “I would have ended up here earlier if I hadn’t seen you at Forever, so please let me do this.”

  “Fine,” he says and shakes his head. “I’ll get snacks then.”

  “Deal,” I say. He stands back and lets me purchase the tickets and we make our way to the entrance where the doorman scans our tickets and points to the third floor where our theater is located. I’ve been dying to see the new novel-turned-movie and since our only other option at this moment is a horror flick, sexy-romance it is.

  Matt heads to the concession line. I’m shocked how busy it is tonight, but he’s so easy going that the line doesn’t bother him. “What would you like? Popcorn? Candy? Soda?” Then he looks back at the menu before continuing, “Nachos?”

  I laugh because the idea of eating any of the foods he rattled off, seems a bit odd in my dress and white coat. I decide to order my regular movie treats. “A large popcorn with extra butter, a box of REESE’S Pieces and a large Coke ICEE.”

  “I was planning on popcorn too. Should I just get an extra-large and we can share?”

  “That sounds great. I’m going to take a quick bio break before the movie starts, so I’ll meet you back here in a bit.”

  When I make it back to the concession counter, Matt is waiting for the guy to finish our drinks. “Are you sure we aren’t feeding the whole theater with all this?” I laugh as I say it. Good to know Matt loves theater snacks as much as I do.

  “I don’t see as many movies in the theater as I’d like because of my schedule. So when I do, I treat myself to all the things. Mom always said when we were kids that the calories don’t count during a special occasion and this is definitely a special occasion.” He smiles from ear to ear and I feel a blush coming over my face. Then I smack him on the shoulder and we both laugh.

  “What’s so special about a movie?” I mean we’ve already left one party for a totally different one.”

  “Well, I know I said you could pick, but I have a gut feeling that we’re going to see . . .” He turns around and points to the poster of a love story that’s based on a best-selling novel.

  “Of course, we are. It is the day of love,” I say before picking up the popcorn bucket and my ICEE. He grabs the candy—REESE’S for me and Sour Patch Kids for him—and his drink. We’re both going to be sick from all this junk by the time the movie is over.

  We quickly find our assigned seats and I comment about how perfect they are. “I was so excited to get these seats. I love to sit in the back center.” I place the popcorn in the seat to my left and my soda in the cupholder on the arm rest before removing my coat, hanging it over the back of my seat, and sitting down. I place my handbag in the seat next to me, then I press the button and recline my seat all the way back.

  By the time I’m comfortably situated, I gaze over and Matt is settled, legs extended and relaxed. “Are you going to hog the popcorn or will you share?”

  I grab a piece and throw it at him before placing the bucket on the armrest between us. “Of course, I’ll share our popcorn.”

  The lights dim in the theater and a dancing cola bottle pops on screen. The whole theater laughs at the antics as we wait for the main attraction.

  I lean to the right and curl my legs under me because I don’t want Matt to see all the twitching that goes on in my body when a very naked and very sexy man enters the screen. I reach into the popcorn bucket blindly, because my eyes are focused on the screen, and collide with Matt’s hand. I’m shocked by the softness of his hands considering how hard he works. I imagine firemen as having rough and callused hands not the softness of Matt’s. Neither of us move and it’s as if we’re frozen. I’m not sure if it’s the sexuality on the screen that’s creating the tension here or what.

  It feels like forever, but I know is only seconds, before I push his hand out of the way and grab a huge handful of popcorn and shove it in my mouth. I turn my head slightly to see Matt staring at me instead of the screen. He probably thinks I made this choice just because of the sexiness of the lead actor, but I love the romance of the storyline.

  Matt is nothing if not the perfect gentleman. Neither one of us is immune to what is happening on screen. The characters are falling in love so completely that I can’t help but wonder if love will come my way again.

  As the movie progresses, Matt moves the popcorn bucket to the empty chair next to him and reaches for my hand. He swipes his pinkie back and forth on my leg, while his thumb rubs across my knuckles. His gentle caress is both unexpected and welcome. At the sexiest part of the movie, I begin squirming around in my seat. Until this moment, sitting next to a super-hot and sweet guy, I’ve forgotten how much I need an intimate connection.

  My face burns bright while I watch the movie and the heat from holding Matt’s hand seeps into my thigh. I’m glad he can’t see me blushing. He quickly removes his hand from mine and a chill runs over me. I glance to the right and see him shifting in his seat while adjusting himself. Hindsight being what it is, I probably should have thought about what watching a movie like this would do to him.

  I’m totally engrossed in what’s happening on the screen, waiting to see if all my favorite parts make the cut and realize, almost two hours have passed and it’s almost over.

  When
the house lights come up, Matt brings his chair to the upright position and I don’t move. My dress clad form is so comfy is this chair and I don’t want to go back into the cold.

  “If you hand me your cup, I’ll take the trash out,” Matt says. Yet again, he’s always thinking about others.

  While he dumps our trash in the receptacle, I stand up and stretch before pulling my coat off the back of the chair, slipping it on, and buttoning it up. I reach for my bag and head toward the end of our row.

  Without a word, he takes my hand and guides me down the steps. I let him lead me, never uttering a word. I’m nervous to open my heart to someone else after jackass Jake stomped all over it, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know it’s time. I can’t let Jake control my life from afar any longer.

  We meander through the levels of the building holding hands, watching the people exiting the other theaters and milling about. As we make it to the entrance, I pick my phone out of my purse where it’s been hiding for most of the night, turn it on, then say, “I just need to schedule a ride. Do you think we could move back inside to wait where it’s warmer?”

  “Absolutely. You’re welcome to stay with me tonight if you don’t want to head home. I’m sure I have a pair of sweats you can wear.”

  I’d love to go home with Matt, curl up and fall fast asleep, but I don’t think I’m ready. I mean it’s not like we haven’t crashed together before. When Carrigan lived across the walkway from him, we all hung out together. I’ve even passed out a couple of times on his lap from eating and drinking too much. But that was before the butterflies took up residence in my stomach when he was around.

  When I lived with Jake in the Streeterville neighborhood, we were close to everything, which is the polar opposite from where I live with my parents in the suburbs. Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful to have their home as a refuge, but it seems so far away on a night like this.

  “I don’t know . . .” I stop mid-sentence because I don’t want to hurt him, but I also have to protect myself.

  “How about we pretend like it’s just another night of pizza and tequila shots and Carrigan walked back across the way. I promise no funny business.” He lets go of my hand and makes a cross over his heart before saying “promise” again.

  “Are you sure you won’t be too uncomfortable?” I can’t bear to say the actual words so I just bend my head down and nod toward his cock.

  “Oh, I’m sure I’ll be absolutely miserable, but you won’t have to worry about it. I’ll take the couch and you can have the bed.” Well, at least he’s honest about it. I can’t stop his physical reaction, but at least he doesn’t plan to act on it.

  “You are not sleeping on the couch. You can sleep in your own bed.” I refuse to kick him out of his bed, but I will take that pair of sweats so he has layers to get through if he tries.

  “Are you sure?” he asks.

  “Yes. If I stay, you have to sleep with me.” I realize the moment the words are out that they sound a bit dirtier than I planned. I laugh. “You know what I mean. We can share the bed but no funny business.”

  I try to keep my tone light but I’m so embarrassed.

  “Deal,” he says.

  I stand there smiling on the outside and giving myself a mental pep talk to get through this. I know Matt won’t hurt me. He’s a great guy and one of Carrigan’s best friends. He is even friends with Chris and Kevin so he would have to answer to everyone if he hurt me.

  We stand at the windows and watch the cars go by. I glance down at my phone and notice the red dot is getting closer to where we are and I hold the phone up to show him.

  He grabs my hand before leading me outside into the arctic air. “Your carriage is arriving . . . now.” We wait for the dark sedan with the matching license plate to come to a stop at the corner. Matt opens the door and confirms the car is for us. Taking my hand, he helps me into the car before sliding in and coming to a stop once we’re connected at the hip.

  The car takes off and Matt whispers to me, “I hope you don’t snore.”

  I laugh at his attempt to help me relax. “Well, I hope you have earplugs.”

  We both smile all the way to his apartment. The trip to his place is quick. Once we make it inside, I notice a pile of shoes in the corner below a coat tree.

  “The coat rack is in the corner,” he says and points just past the pile of shoes. “I’m going to grab you something warmer to wear, I’ll be right back.”

  I strip my coat off and hang it on the rack, placing my purse to the side of it.

  When he walks back into the living area, the first place my eyes go are to the sweatpants that ride low on his hips. For the first time since ending things with Jake, the butterflies are settling in my belly.

  “I placed a couple things for you in the bathroom. There are washcloths in the cabinet under the sink.”

  I hear him, but I’m frozen in place watching his beautiful body as he moves to the kitchen. A few moments later, I shake my head and say, “Thanks so much, I’ll be back in a few.”

  By the time I finish changing, washing my face, and using the washcloth as a makeshift toothbrush, Matt has made a couple of quesadillas and has them on plates in the kitchen.

  “I thought you may want a bit of real food since we’ve had nothing but junk tonight. Plus, I’m hungry so I made one for you.”

  Walking toward him I take a deep breath and smell the delicious aroma of melted cheese and chicken. “That sounds divine,” I reply.

  I take my plate and the glass of water sitting next to it and stroll into the living room, trying not to slide all over the place. Matt’s socks will keep my feet warm, but they’re a bit big and I don’t want to slip and fall. The only mouth-to-mouth I want is to be fueled by attraction.

  Chapter 7

  When I agreed to meet the girls for a Valentine’s night out, I couldn’t have imagined that I’d end the night in Matt’s bed. Once we settle into our places, I flop around like a dying fish trying to get comfortable. I can’t seem to find my spot until Matt rolls over and pulls me into his body.

  “I hope you enjoyed the movie. I know it probably isn’t something you would choose, but—”

  He interrupts me before I’m able to finish my thought. “As long as I’m with you, I’ll watch anything.”

  Well, shit. What am I supposed to say to that? Or does it even require a response. I just smile before saying, “Smooth. Real smooth, Matt.”

  He grins from ear to ear. “What else can I say? I started the night out in line for a chance to see you and I ended the night with a giant boner. That was better than any porn I have seen.”

  “Whatever,” I say. “And that’s not porn. Trust me I’ve watched my share of skin flicks and the movie is definitely not that.” It’s funny how this movie brings couples together. I bet the author had no idea when she wrote it how powerful it would be.

  “No more talk of boners. I need some sleep,” I say giggling.

  “Just sleep,” he says before planting a soft kiss in my hair. A couple minutes later we both fall fast asleep.

  When I wake, he isn’t around and I decide to laze around before nature calls and I’m running a mad dash to the bathroom. A few minutes later, I’ve located the mouthwash, done a quick rinse, and loaded up my cloth from last night with a bit more toothpaste trying to rid my mouth of the foul taste of late-night eating.

  I peek my head out the door and gaze across the living area to see if I can surprise him, but he has his beautiful bare back to me and isn’t paying attention. Or at least that’s what I think until he says, “Good morning, sleepyhead.”

  “Well, damn,” I say. “I wanted to surprise you.”

  “The toilet flushing was a dead giveaway you were up, but I can pretend that you scared me.” I stalk toward him and smack him on the back.

  “Hardy, har har.”

  In my experience, there are two general options for the morning after—even if nothing happened—uptight and awkward or silly and fun.
I always choose the latter because well, silly is my defense mechanism. Most of the time.

  It’s been a while since I’ve had to break out the morning after routine, since before I met Jake. Ugh. I’m not going to allow his assholishness to enter this wonderful morning. Nope. No more Jake.

  “Do you have any tea?” I ask this before I realize he made a whole pot of coffee and has a cup sitting out for me. “I mean coffee. Yeah, do you have any coffee?” Geez. There was a time when I lived off the stuff but now, I prefer tea. Though the smell is still one of my favorites, along with sugar cookies, but I the thought of drinking it causes my stomach to pitch.

  “If you want tea, Amber, I’ll make you tea.” He opens a cabinet and reaches to the box of tea on the top shelf. “I don’t know if this is any good, my mom brought it last winter when she came over.” He turns and holds the box out to me.

  “Thanks. Coffee was my choice up until I realized how much it contributes to my anxiety, so I let it go and turned to tea.” Confession is good for the soul and so is acknowledging that things change and it’s okay.

  Matt nods at me as though he understands. “Kiss,” he says and points to his lips, “before tea.” Then he crosses his arms and waits.

  I shuffle a couple of steps and stand in front of him. This feels right, allowing myself to want this kiss. “You’re holding my tea hostage for a kiss? Hmm. I think I can make that . . .”

  He leans in and his lips connect to mine before I can finish what I was saying. His lips are so soft and his kiss is firm. He runs his tongue over the seam of my lips and I part my mouth allowing his entry. I lean in closer and run my hands up and down his abs before circling my arms around his back and smacking his scrumptious booty.

  Now this is the way to start the morning. I snatch the tea box from his hands and step away moving over to the sink. “Smells good. Do you cook every morning?”

  I turn back around to ask him where the cups are and before the words are out, he holds one out for me. I turn on the water and let it run to warm, before sliding my cup under the tap. When it’s full, I turn the water off and drop the bag into the water and place the cup in the microwave. In two minutes, I’ll have the perfect cup of tea.